There’s a condition many of us have but rarely talk about. I call it the “I Can Do It” condition. Whether I’m in a meeting, at a family gathering, or even just hanging out with friends, there’s always that moment. The conversation is flowing, a list of things that need doing comes up, and before I know it, my hand is up, my lips part, and out come the words: I can do it. And just like that, I’m juggling fifteen different projects for work, family, friends, and more, trying to be everything for everyone.
When I was in my twenties, this was manageable—I had more energy, fewer responsibilities, and more hours in the day. But as I aged, life got busier with children and other commitments, and yet I kept volunteering and saying “yes” because I felt I had to. People relied on me; if not me, then who? How many of you reading this right now have felt the same way? Maybe you’re feeling it today.
Now, in my fifties, I’m learning to let go. I’ve realized I don’t need to take on everything to feel valuable or accomplished. I’ve learned to breathe deeply, to enjoy the world around me, to listen to the sound of rain or the smell of flowers. I still believe I’m a capable multitasker, but now I recognize that my “multitasking” often meant ignoring four things to focus on one. I’m learning to concentrate better and give my full attention to what’s in front of me, to truly be present. I’ve accepted that to take care of others, I must take care of myself first.
The truth is, it’s okay to say, “I just can’t this time.” It’s not selfish or lazy; it’s a necessary step toward balance. I still wrestle with being present—distractions everywhere—but I’m learning that it’s okay to set boundaries, listen without needing to add my two cents, and genuinely hear people instead of jumping in with “helpful” advice. And let me tell you, that kind of listening is a beautiful thing.
I’m not where I want to be yet, but finding my balance and learning to say “I can’t” when necessary has become empowering, not scary.
As we enter this holiday season, let’s take 10 minutes each day to find balance. Breathe.